that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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