Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
