we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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