you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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