Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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