Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
