I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
