i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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