I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
