You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
