some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
