So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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