well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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