The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
