I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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