We won't sleep together?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
