A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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