I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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