i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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