That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
