I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
