..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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