We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
