seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
