I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
