Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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