My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
