i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
