trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
