He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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