FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
