Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You don't make any sense
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