Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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