i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
