if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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