Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
