I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
