she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
