talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
