i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
