This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
