My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
