After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
