He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
