Nicole vs. Life
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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