you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
