Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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