He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
high people should be assigned attendants
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize