i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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