can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
