No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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