Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
