i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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