Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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