Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
