After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize