Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize