Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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