Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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