i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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