And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
