I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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