the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
