the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
